Is This a Real Problem… or Just My Anxiety Talking?
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How to Tell the Difference Between Real Danger and Intrusive Thoughts
You know that feeling when your brain hits the panic button… over something that might not even be happening? Anxiety can be sneaky like that. One moment, you're going about your day just fine. The next? You're spiraling through a mental “what if” disaster movie—complete with dramatic soundtrack.
Here’s the truth:
Anxiety isn’t always a bad thing. It’s actually designed to keep you safe. It helps you notice danger, stay alert, and act fast when something’s not right.
But anxiety doesn’t always know when to chill. It can’t always tell the difference between a real threat and a totally harmless thought. That’s where things get confusing—and exhausting.
The Deal with Intrusive Thoughts
Intrusive thoughts are those weird, random, often upsetting thoughts that pop into your mind uninvited. They can feel intense, even scary—but they’re actually super common.
You might think:
“What if I just screamed in this quiet room?”
“Did I forget to close the garage door? Again?”
“What if I’m actually a bad person and I just don’t know it?”
And then comes the anxiety spiral:
“Why am I thinking this?” → “Does this mean something is wrong with me?” → “What if I can’t stop thinking about it?”
Here’s the good news:
Intrusive thoughts are just thoughts. They don’t define you, and they don’t predict your future. They’re a glitch in the system—not a sign that something’s seriously wrong.
Real Danger vs. Mental Noise
Anxiety loves to jump to conclusions. It’s like your brain is shouting “This is an emergency!” before checking the facts.
So how do you know what’s worth your energy?
Real danger usually:
Comes with actual signs or evidence
Poses a clear and present risk
Requires immediate action
Example: You smell smoke in your house. That’s a real problem. Time to act.
Intrusive/anxious thoughts:
Are often based on “what if” thinking
Come with a feeling of urgency but no clear evidence
Tend to repeat or loop without resolution
Example: “What if I left the stove on and my house is burning down right now?” (You haven’t cooked all day, but suddenly it feels possible.)
When you slow down and check the facts, most of the time, you’ll realize: This is just my anxiety talking.
How to Check Yourself (Before Anxiety Wrecks Yourself)
Here are a few tools you can use in the moment:
🧠 The Reality Check List
Ask yourself:
What’s the evidence this is true?
What’s more likely happening?
Has this thought shown up before, and how did that turn out?
Am I reacting to a feeling or to actual facts?
If someone I love had this thought, how would I respond?
🌿 Get Grounded
Bring yourself back to the present with simple grounding tools:
Name 5 things you can see
Touch something with texture (your jeans, a mug, a pillow)
Take 5 slow, deep breaths
Remind yourself: I am safe. This is just a thought. I can let it pass.
💬 Talk About It
Anxiety wants you to suffer in silence. One of the best things you can do? Say it out loud. Share it with a friend or a therapist. Often, hearing yourself say the thought helps you realize how off-base it actually is.
🤷♀️ Let the Thought Be Boring
The more we try to fight intrusive thoughts, the more attention we give them. Instead of pushing them away, try saying, “Oh, there’s that weird thought again,” and then move on with your day. When you stop giving it power, it loses its grip.
A Word About Self-Compassion
Let’s be real: Anxiety is hard. It’s frustrating. It can make you feel like you’re always on edge or like your mind is working against you. But none of that makes you weak, or broken.
Be gentle with yourself.
Having anxious thoughts doesn’t mean anything bad about you. It just means your brain is trying (a little too hard) to keep you safe. With practice and support, you can learn to sort the real from the imagined and respond in a calmer, more confident way.
When to Reach Out for Help
If anxiety is showing up so often that it’s messing with your sleep, your relationships, your ability to concentrate, or just your overall peace of mind, it might be time to get some extra support.
Therapy can help you:
Understand your anxiety triggers
Learn how to challenge and manage intrusive thoughts
Build a stronger, kinder relationship with yourself
Create more calm in your everyday life
You don’t have to believe everything your anxious brain says.
You are more than your thoughts, and you don’t have to figure it all out alone.
If you’re tired of feeling hijacked by “what ifs” and ready to get back in the driver’s seat, therapy might be the next right step. Let’s work together to quiet the noise, separate the facts from the fears, and help you feel more in control of your mind and your life.
